With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick flowers in other people’s gardens

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickle for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Just Another Day by Lucy Day

We all have a book inside us waiting to come out, the question is when and where and whether we wish to embark on such a mammoth task.

Not easily daunted by adversity, I decided to give it a go. Friends have been pushing towards this goal for many years, even hinting that my life would make an ‘interesting read’. But one remark, ‘Just write you life in five chapters’ seemed achievable enough, even for someone like me. The five chapters should just be headlines of your life, and although I struggled with that for a while because I was someone who looked at stories as having a beginning, middle and an end, eventually, I produced one A4 sheet and presented it to this friend. Hmmm she said, ‘it would seem you have a very ordinary life’. “Yes, I have”, was my reply “the usual, childhood, education, marriage, having a baby and current situation.” She laughed, “now go away and expand on those chapters.”
I suppose curiosity got to me at this point and I went away wondering whether writing was for me. I started the task, looked at it, walked away, made endless amounts of tea, procrastinated, day dreamed of better times, and didn’t really know where it was going. If someone had asked me if I would ever write a book the answer would have been categorically no, you see only important people write books, people who have achieved amazing things in their life and as for me…………..
Well, I am a nobody who grew up in the suburbs of South London, so what possibly could I have to say. However, one winter evening, when there was nothing on TV and I had come home, feeling miserable after a difficult day at work; I turned on my laptop, and slowly began to expand those chapters, my laptop had become my conscience.
Before long, it was as if I was possessed, and a torrent of words flooded onto the screen, which flowed into pages, and then chapters. In the wee hours, I fell exhausted on the bed but strangely amazed that I had anything of any value to say. But say, I did at the following day I continued with my task. For me it became a cathartic exercise, parts of which I sobbed through uncontrollably but as the tears rolled down my face, I continued clattering at the keyboard. In many ways I couldn’t get things out quick enough, secretarial college had paid dividends with an ability to touch-type, making my exercise the more frustrating as I homed-in and focused at getting as much out as possible. One hundred and eighty-four pages later a book had emerged. So what was I to do with this manuscript? My first thoughts were to burn it, but having eaten all my energy, I put it somewhere safe instead and it was another two years before, I decided to publish.
And that’s another story……………………………………….
Janet Stead, Author of Just Another Day by Lucy Day (ISBN: 0-9548710-0-6) and Beyond Reproach by Jenny Simpson (ISBN:0-9548710-1-4) available at most high street bookstores or direct from http://www.reach-for-the-skies.co.uk

Beyond Reproach

Having attended a course, I thought I would share what I learnt.

This is a normal reaction to an abnormal event. Falling apart is normal, not abnormal.

Victims often shy away from professionals immediately after a stressful event. They may fail to recognise the limits of their own resources and that problems have become entrenched and may engage in other potentially damaging coping strategies. Also their ability to seek help may be reduced by their severe distress.

Early intervention within days after the event, if possible even if it is just to establish contact with the victim.

Psychological help needs to accompany practical help and advocacy (income, recovery of possessions, contact with family and employers, legal aid, housing etc.)
Information for victim (about loved ones, covictims) and between mental health services, emergency service and military and police needs to be available.

Sympathetic listening is often a primary component of therapy and an emphasis on the patient being a normal person being exposed to an abnormal event with understandable normal responses, may reassure the patient.

Initial denial and numbing and later mood swings, irritability and anger as well as sadness are normal.
Nature heals through allowing these feelings to come out. This will not lead to loss of control of the mind but stopping these feelings may lead to nervous and physical problems. Crying gives relief.

Natural reactions and behaviours
Numbness -your mind may allow the misfortune to be felt only slowly. At first you may feel numb. The event may seem unreal, like a dream, something that has not really happened. People often see this wrongly either as ‘being strong’ or ‘uncaring’

Activity – To be active, to help and give to others may give some relief. However, over-activity is detrimental if you overtire yourself of divert attention from the help you need for yourself.

Support – It is a relief to receive other people’s physical and emotional support. Do not reject it. Sharing with others who have had similar experiences feels good. Barriers can break down and closer relationships develop.

Privacy – In order to deal with feelings, you will find it necessary at times to be alone or just with family and close friends.

Going away – You may feel like going away to try to forget it all. Trips away can he helpful but are unlikely to allow you to forget everything. It may be necessary to confront (to feel and work through) the emotions the trauma has caused before you can put it behind you.

Some do’s and don’ts

Don’t bottle up feelings.
Do express your emotions. Children should be allowed to share grief if they have suffered a loss

Don’t avoid talking about what happened
Do take every opportunity to review the experience within yourself and with others.

Don’t let your embarrassment stop you giving others the chance to talk.
Do allow yourself to be part of a group of people who care.

Don’t expect the memories to go away quickly – the feelings may stay with you for a long time to come.
Do take time out to sleep, rest, think and be with your close family and friends

Do drive more carefully

Do be more careful around the home and with machinery

Accidents are more common after severe stresses

Do be careful of using alcohol or other self medication : these can easily get out of your control.

You may find that returning to your normal self takes some time and that you have periods when thoughts or feelings related to the trauma come back. There may be some aspects of your experience you will never forget.

Traumatic reactions are not new, Samuel Pepys wrote about the Great Fire of London in 1666 and the terror he saw. He later dreamt of fire and falling houses and six months later was still unable to sleep and wrote about the affect on others, some attempting suicide.

We react to trauma because it shatters our basic beliefs of life, that we live in a fairly safe and secure environment and trauma occurs suddenly without warning, so it gives us no time to adapt.

A self help guide is available from the Mental Health NHS Trust.
Victim Support line: 0845 3030900
Supportline@victimsupport.org.uk

Cruse Breavement line – help line for bereaved people and those caring for bereaved people
Tel: 0870 1671677
Disability Tel: 01302 310123
Domestic Violence – Refuge – 24 hour crisis line providing practical advice and emotional support for women experiencing domestic violence Tel : 0870 5995443

Art is a very personal thing, for me it has been a way of expressing unspoken word, about something I found difficult to verbalise. A sanctuary or refuge for certain points in my life, where I have felt driven to either written about an experience or paint something that expressed the way I felt. Strangely, it has also made me feel vulnerable, although the compulsion has never diminished. As a young person, I remember the horror on my mother’s face when I painted a portrait of my grandmother, who had been hospitalised suffering with Dementia. I had no idea of the concerns it raised within my immediate family. My uncle, also an artist, was particularly concerned about an oil painting I did in the 1970’s of a young child being blown apart by a bomb and it took him a number of years before, he asked to see it again. Interestingly, all those years later, his view had changed and he commended me for being able to put so much emotion into a painting. That was quite an accolade by someone I respected as a landscape artist. But my views were based on the way I see art, I remember the endless hours spent walking around art galleries and whilst those who accompanied me became bored, I just became inspired, struck in awe and wonderment of those who had created such a beautiful and rich history. Never could a history book replace the living colours, I saw in those works.
One such example, are the war artists who recorded great battles, detailing the pain, death and destruction of those involved. It was the artist’s brush that recorded scenes of great wealth or poverty, and through this we can see for ourselves the types of lives people had at those times. They were the first visual reporters and as a visionary person, I marvelled at the detail of their work that beautifully and painstakingly went into producing such masterpieces. Throughout the ages art has changed shape, colour, depth and technique. There is Pop art, impressionism, abstract and I wonder what Holbein, Turner, George Stubbs or Van Gogh, Renoir, Monet, William Orpen or Stanley Spencer to name but a few, would make of the Tate. Is it that we have forgotten art was at one time the only medium to record events both politically and socially?

Sir William Orpen RA (1878-1931) was already a leading society portrait artist when he was appointed by the Dept of Information to be employed as an official war artist in 1917.
Sir Stanley Spencer RA (1891-1959) in the last year at Slade School exhibited ‘John Donne Arriving in Heaven’ in Roger Fry’s second Post Impressionist exhibition. So at the beginning of World War II, he was an established artist and was commissioned to record ship building on the Clyde in March 1940.
Hans Holbein (1498-1543) painted a portrait of Thomas Moore; such was his attention for detail that he used hundreds of tiny brush strokes, creating an almost photographic effect.

When I went along to the discussion I was curious to see what being compelled to paint really meant but came away feeling I needed further education if I was going to offer any form of art class to further help society. I had always wanted to explore the idea of art therapy by offering fun classes for people to come along and enjoy themselves by putting what they felt onto paper. By the time I got home, I felt heavy headed, and bogged down, by something I looked upon as an outlet for emotional expression. Not fortunate enough to follow a career in art, because it wasn’t encouraged in my family or even looked upon as any meaningful profession, I did however, enjoy the release of thoughts on paper and have always doodled or sketched something of interest.

What concerned me most, was that as art to me is a visual expression of thought, I couldn’t help feeling a little awkward about where the discussion was headed. But interestingly enough it evoked other thoughts I had never considered. It was mentioned that Bruce Miller, MD in association with the Department of Neurology at the University of California, San Francisco looked at human brain function, particularly emotion, perception, and behaviour. Based on the study of individuals with dementia and autism, where certain areas of the brain had stopped functioning, it was noted that other areas are thought to have taken over, releasing previously dormant cognitive abilities. Some individuals who had never created art before are making wonderful artwork in the setting of their illness. There are even reports of people creating music as well. www.memory.ucsf.edu

It was also mentioned that us ‘arty’ lot had a high risk of suicide, hmmm, well there have been moments in my life where I have considered………… but I always thought, it was just a phase, it takes a lot of courage to commit suicide. So does having an artistic talent make one more sensitive, more aware perhaps of one’s surroundings and therefore more prone to be overwhelmed by reality and hence driven to produce work in order to make a statement which could lead to depression and possible thoughts of suicide?

There are many reasons why individuals commit suicide and they come from all walks of life. Personally, I think it has been my lack of creativity at those times that have made me consider this option and was caused by the negativity of those around me, as I said earlier, art for me is an emotional outlet where I can create something others cannot see.

It has to be said that one of my favourite artists is Vincent Van Gogh, art for him was a personal destiny and he converted all this aspiration and anguish into his art. In September 1888, he painted ‘The Night Café’for his landlord to pay the rent and wrote this famous line “I have tried to express the terrible passions of humanity by red and green.” His bold use of colour adds to the emotional expression of his art, it is thought that his suicide, in part at least, was due to guilt for his brother Theo’s support. ‘Portrait of the Artist’ that he painted of himself in 1890, is for some physicians evidence that the painting was done in a psychotic state, having been painted a few months before his death.

I was once asked if I dreamt in black and white or colour, ‘colour’ was my reply, ‘doesn’t everybody’? Well apparently not, although it would be difficult for me to imagine life without colour. I would like to think art is something we can all enjoy whatever standard we want to produce, after all art is in the eyes of the beholder. And those gifted artists, which we generally recognise for their talent and sheer beauty of their work which makes me feel like weeping when I see it, because I know I will never reach such magnificence. If there are any mental problems associated with artistic talent, then it is that they see things how they really are, which makes them stand out from the norm. Geniuses, who are touched by the hand of God…………………..Janet. www.reach-for-the-skies.co.uk